Sexting: part thrill, part tease, and 100% a fun way to keep the spark alive. Whether you’re flirting from afar, spicing things up in a long-term relationship, or just want to drop a little heat into your partner’s inbox, a well-crafted message can turn up the tension in all the right ways. 

But if you’re unsure how to start sexting (or how to go from sweet to steamy without sounding like an awkward AI chatbot), don’t worry – we’ve got you covered. 

From playful openers to sizzling one-liners, consider this your guide on how to start sexting with confidence, connection, and just the right amount of spice.

The Art of the Tease: Why Sexting is a Game-Changer

If you’ve never experienced the pleasure of receiving a sexy text from your partner, you might be wondering, “Why do we need to sext?” Well, learning how to start sexting can seriously level up your foreplay game. If you’ve ever read a steamy or romantic novel, you know just how powerful words can be when setting the mood. 

But sexting isn’t just about firing off a spicy message – it’s an art form that builds anticipation, keeps the chemistry sizzling, and strengthens intimacy between partners. 

Let’s break down a few of the benefits of incorporating flirty texts into your pre-game routine:

• Keeps the spark alive for long-distance couples (shoutout to military spouses) or those juggling hectic schedules.
• Encourages open and vulnerable communication between partners.
• Acts as all-day foreplay, building anticipation for when you finally reunite.
• A great option for those who struggle with in-the-moment sexy talk, helping you ease into it.
• Creates a safe space to explore desires, share fantasies, and express what you’ve been curious to try in the bedroom.
• Boosts confidence and helps you feel more comfortable expressing yourself.

Sexting 101:  Begin With Boundaries

Ready to learn how to start sexting? It all begins with creating the right vibe for both partners.

But before we dive into the details, let’s address something important: if pornography has been a concern in your relationship, sexting might be a sensitive subject; both partners need to decide what feels right for you and establish your comfort level. 

If sexting isn’t something that feels safe or healthy for your relationship, that’s completely okay! Make sure you’re both on the same page by checking in with each other.

When learning how to start sexting, remember these tips:

• Read the room (or the chat) and set clear boundaries, always getting consent first.
• Find your sexting style – flirty, romantic, or a little naughty.
• Choose the right medium – text, voice notes, or a carefully cropped selfie. Agree together on what feels comfortable when sharing pictures or videos, and how much you'd like to reveal.
• Prioritize safety and privacy by using an app like Ultimate Intimacy or Just Between Us, which ensures peace of mind with its secure platform for sexting (including pics).

PROTIP: When learning how to start sexting, try experimenting with different styles of communication to see what feels most natural for you both. Whether it’s flirty emojis, voice notes, or playful texts, changing things up can keep things spicy, help you discover your own sexting style, and make sending sexy texts feel more natural.

From Sweet to Spicy: Sexting Starters for Every Mood

Alright, now let’s get to the juicy stuff that ya’ll really want to know – some sexting examples to help you get started. 

Here’s where many people stumble: learning how to start sexting in a way that feels natural, personal, and effortless. If you're new to physical intimacy or have had conflicting ideas about sex, it can feel especially awkward. It’s completely normal to feel uncomfortable using more direct sexual language when you're just getting the hang of sexting.

Here are some tips (with samples) to help you feel confident and sound smooth, even if you're just starting with sexting:

Begin with something playful and sweet, like this: 

• "I can’t stop thinking about that kiss last night… care to remind me how amazing it felt?"
• "I had such a great time with you yesterday, can’t wait to do it again!"
• “Have I said lately how sexy your body is to me?”
• “What was your favorite part of last night?”

Next, escalate with something subtly suggestive, like this: 

• "I have a secret... and it’s about what I’m (not) wearing right now."
• "This new lingerie feels so silky on my skin – I bet it would feel amazing against yours, too."
• “I was just remembering when we (fill in the blank)…and I can’t wait to do it again.”
• “I’ve got on that lingerie that you like…”

Then get bold and daring with something like this: 

• "What would you do to me if we were alone right now?" 
• "Tonight, I’m going to undress you slowly and make you mine for the night."
• “I can’t wait to see you naked in bed tonight.”
• “I just want your body pressed against mine right now.”

Let things unfold at your own pace, keeping the intensity going for as long as you both want. By the time you're reunited, the tension will be so high, it’ll feel like the heat could set off the smoke alarms!

PROTIP: For more sexting examples and inspiration, check out our blog post here. It’s packed with roleplay ideas and scenarios to help you create an exciting dialogue and add some extra flair to your conversations – and everything that follows after.  

Sexting Like a Pro: Tips & Tricks

Now that you've got the basics down, let's explore how to sext better and make you a pro. Perfecting the art of sexting is all about building anticipation and making your words feel as enticing as a slow, lingering touch. Even if you're still learning how to start sexting, you can quickly master the technique and make it feel authentic.

Here’s our best advice for becoming a sexting maestro and nailing it every time:

• Build anticipation: don’t jump from “hey” to “naked” in .2 seconds. The best sexting is a slow, teasing buildup that keeps the excitement simmering.
• Use vivid descriptions to bring your words to life: make your partner feel every detail – from the warmth of your touch to the tease of your breath against their skin.
• Start playful, then go bold: express what you're feeling and craving – specifics are everything, even if they feel a bit awkward to type at first. Trust us, the little things make all the difference – but stick to what feels natural for you.
• Emojis: they can be your best friend (but use them wisely🫦🔥🍆).
• Refrain from being too explicit or vulgar: the point of sexting is to tease, sparking your partner's imagination for what's to come.
• Consider the timing of your messages: if your partner is at work, they might not see it until their lunch break. Also, be aware that either of you could be in public, so make sure your steamy convo stays private and away from prying eyes.
• Pay attention to your grammar: avoid slang, use correct punctuation (no run-on sentences) and double-check for autocorrect mistakes. A sizzling conversation can quickly cool off with a single misplaced typo. 

Do’s & Don’ts of Sexting

Finally, let’s sum everything up quickly with some key guidelines for a fun and respectful sexting experience.

Here’s a breakdown of do’s and don’ts to keep in mind when learning how to start sexting:

• Do keep it playful and fun – confidence is sexy. 
• Do respect boundaries and comfort levels.
• Do build anticipation with playful teasing before getting into the intense stuff to keep the excitement flowing.
• Do use emojis, gifs, or playful language to make the conversation feel light, natural, and engaging.
• Don’t rush into explicit content – start with flirty texts to build chemistry and gauge interest before getting more intimate.
• Don’t feel pressured – sexting should always be something you want to do, so communicate openly if it doesn’t feel right.
• Don’t send unsolicited explicit messages (enthusiastic consent is key).
• Don’t screenshot without permission – privacy matters.

Turn Up the Heat with Mentionables

Want to know how to start sexting like a master? It’s all about having fun, building anticipation, and deepening your connection – whether it’s through a flirty tease or a downright scandalous message. The key? Confidence, consent, and a little creativity. So go ahead – get those flirty fingers moving, hit send, and let the sparks fly!

Want to take your sexting game to the next level? Set the stage IRL with Mentionables’ dreamy lingerie (including our new jaw-dropping new bridal collection), sexy bedroom games, and intimacy-boosting accessories because nothing complements a flirty text quite like what’s actually waiting for them later. Shop now and start teasing in style.

What’s your go-to sexy text or favorite tip on how to start sexting and build anticipation? Drop your best lines (or funniest sexting fails) in the comments!