Adult life often feels like a nonstop sprint (hi, we see your calendar), so it’s no wonder intimacy can feel rushed, too. Speedy “sessions” have their time and place, but if you’re craving something deeper, enter Tantric sex – the ultimate slow-burn romance, where it’s not about “getting there,” but about melting into the moment together.

Think long, lingering touches. Deep breaths. Feeling completely seen, desired, and wrapped up in each other – no pressure, no performance, no incense required. Just you, your partner, and a willingness to slow wayyy down and savor every sensually delicious second. And, if you’re a Sensual erotic blueprint type (IYKYK), this is basically heaven.

Curious? Stick around – we’re breaking down what Tantric sex is, how to try it, and why you just might fall in love.

The Basics of Tantric Sex

Let’s keep things simple – and here’s a spoiler: it’s not just about sex. 

Tantric sex is an ancient Eastern practice focused on awareness, intimacy, and the exchange of energy with yourself and your partner. The goal isn’t even necessarily climax or intercourse; it’s about exploring sensations, relishing every touch, discovering yourself and your partner, and deepening the connection.

At its core, Tantric sex is:

• Slow: No rushing, just savoring the moment.
• Intentional: Every touch and glance has a purpose.
• Feeling-centered: Awareness of your body, your partner, and the space in between is grounding.  
• Open: Stay curious, playful, and judgment-free.
  
  

Or as we like to say: think less sprint, more luxurious stroll.

And before you imagine incense clouds, sitting in lotus position, and chanting in silk pants, here’s the truth about Tantric sex:

• It’s not a performance.
• It’s not about perfection.
• It’s definitely not just for “spiritual people.”

It’s not always slow-motion – it’s about a deeper, more spiritual connecti

Why Try Tantric Sex?

So, why slow down when life already moves fast enough? 

For many of us, things feel so busy that pausing (even when we want to) isn’t always possible. And hey, what you’re doing now might be working just fine. But with Tantric sex, you get to pause the rush and sink into something deeper, juicier, and way more connected. 

And sometimes, that’s all it takes to reignite the spark that’s softened over the years.

Here’s what slowing down with Tantric sex can help you unlock:

• Deeper emotional connection.
• More presence and mindfulness during intimacy.
• Increased pleasure (slowing down = more sensation).
• Way less pressure to “perform.”
• Less stress and more relaxation.
• Confidence and body awareness.
• Space to explore and learn your desires together.

Basically, it’s like switching from fast food to a candlelit dinner. Um…yes, please! When you slow down on purpose, intimacy stops feeling like something you do – and starts to become something you experience together.

How Tantric Sex Feels in Practice

Now that you know the basics of Tantra and why it’s worth taking the time to do, let’s get into the juicy part: how it actually feels. Tantric sex is less about moves and more about tuning in to your breath, your touch, and all the little sparks that make intimacy magical. 

Here’s what that can look like:

• Breathing together: Syncing your breath is like a secret signal for closeness. 
• Locking eyes: A few seconds of eye contact can feel surprisingly electric. 
• Touching intentionally: Every slow stroke or loving caress says, I see you, I want you. 
• Feeling seen and desired: Emotional intimacy is just as important as physical intimacy.
• Embracing the awkward: A little giggle, a shy smile, or a funny fumble is all part of the charm and eases tension.

The goal? Less doing it “right,” more feeling it together. And if you’re ready to turn these playful ideas into a real experience, it’s time to dive deep into the nitty-gritty on how to try Tantric sex yourself – beginner style.

How To Practice Tantric Sex – Easy Starter Guide

Ready to turn curiosity into experience? 

Here’s a playful, no-pressure guide to trying Tantric sex for the first time.

Step 1: Set the Mood With Intention

Creating a relaxed space and carving out time is key for tantric sex – no rushing allowed. Clear your mind and step into mindfulness: stress or worry about a to-do list is a surefire way to kill desire. And remember, Tantra is a new skill, so give yourself some grace; it takes time and practice, and a few bumps along the way are totally normal.

Try a few of these ideas to create the right vibe:

• Soft lighting: Think flattering and cozy (dimmed lights, candles, a fireplace, or even a lighted diffuser).
• Comfy textures: Grab blankets, pillows, and head to your favorite spot.
• Confidence-boosting lingerie: Wear what makes you feel best (ahem Mentionables).

Relaxing music: Go for an ambiance of relaxation here, like spa music, or sensual rhythms.

Step 2: Breathe Together

Now that the mood is set and your bodies are starting to unwind, take things a step deeper by syncing your breath. It’s one of the sweetest ways to feel connected without saying a word. 

Try it like this:

• Deep breathing: Start with 5-10 minutes of slow, intentional breaths on your own to help your body relax.
• Sync your breath: Sit close or cuddle up and gently match each other’s inhale and exhale.
• Add touch: Place your hands on each other’s chest or abdomen to really feel the rhythm together.
• Let it be playful: Giggles, smiles, or laughter are totally allowed (they can also help melt away tension, especially when you’re new to Tantric sex).

Step 3: Eye Contact (Just Trust Us)

With the mood set and your breathing in sync, the next step is eye contact. Gazing into each other’s eyes (for longer than just a glance) builds trust, closeness, and that delicious sense of being really seen. It can feel a little unnerving or exposing at first, and that's very normal, so you’re not alone.

Here’s how to make this step of Tantric sex feel intimate, not cheesy (and yes, a few giggles are expected):

• Hold eye contact: Start with just a few seconds and gradually increase as it feels comfortable.
• Smile or laugh: Let natural reactions happen – it lightens the moment and keeps intimacy fun.

No perfection needed: There’s no “right” way; just being present is what matters most.

Step 4: Slow It Way, Way Down

Here’s where the real juicy stuff comes into play – Tantric sex is about reveling in every moment. Focus on the experience, rather than rushing to a finale. Be present with your partner and enjoy the delicious rhythm of being together.

Here are some simple ways to guide Tantric sex toward a more intimate, connected flow:

• Whisper loving words: Lie on your sides and share sweet, soft phrases like “I love you,” “Your skin feels amazing,” or “I could get lost in your eyes forever” for 15-20 minutes.
• Explore kissing: Start with gentle kisses, lip teasing, or light pecks, then wander to other sensitive spots like earlobes, the nape of the neck, or décolletage.
• Gentle touch: Begin with teasing, less obvious areas such as outer thighs, palms, or lower back, and gradually move to more sensitive zones with soft, deliberate caresses.
• Engage all your senses: Sight, sound, touch, smell, and even taste – let them guide your exploration. And if you need some sensory ideas, we’ve got you covered here.
• Tune in to sensations: Pay attention to what feels good for both of you and adjust accordingly.

Stay curious together: Explore, experiment, and enjoy discovering what brings you both pleasure.

Step 5: Stay Curious, Not Goal-Oriented

By now, you’ve built tension, heightened sensation, and really tuned in to each other. This is the moment to remember: Tantric sex is a journey, not a destination. The focus is connection, playfulness, and shared pleasure – not necessarily orgasm or penetration.

Here’s how to keep things exploratory and deeply connected:

• Prioritize bonding over climax: Let every touch, glance, and breath deepen intimacy instead of rushing toward an endpoint.
• Explore new touches, rhythms, and sensations: Try different pressures, strokes, or playful teasing – focus on what feels good together.
• Enjoy the moment: Stay present with each delicious second and let yourselves melt into the experience.
• Optional: Slow, intentional penetration: If you include penetration, go slow. Have your partner enter fully, then gently pull back about half an inch and pause (no thrusting), letting your body relax and expand. This slow, pulsing rhythm deepens connection and lets your energies merge.
• Optional: Guided climax: If orgasm happens, let it be part of the connection, not the goal. Focus on building sensation gradually, exploring pleasure together, and staying fully present.

Setting the Tantric Sex Scene With Lingerie Confidence

Feeling confident in your own skin can make a big difference in intimacy (for tips, see our blog all about lingerie confidence). Choosing lingerie pieces that make you feel soft, self-confident, and sensual helps you relax, show up fully, and soak in the closeness with your partner during Tantric sex.

Try incorporating classy lingerie pieces that make you feel radiant and comfortable, like:

• Flowy fabrics: Soft, drapey layers that invite touch and movement, such as silky camis or slip-style lingerie pieces.
• Soft lace: Delicate textures that feel luxurious against your skin and add a flirty, feminine touch.
• Comfortable-but-stunning styles: Pieces that look gorgeous while letting you move freely. Think rompers, matching lace bralette and panty set, or shorts.

Keep It Real – Tantric Sex for Actual Humans

Life is busy, messy, and full of distractions – and that’s totally normal. Tantric sex doesn’t have to be a big, intimidating production. Tantric sex is about tuning in, making the most of little moments, and staying connected – even when life is hectic.

Here’s how to make Tantric sex work in our busy lives:

• Embrace reality: Kids, busy schedules, and nervous giggles are all part of life – and intimacy can still happen.
• Try little moments: You don’t need hours – even a short, focused connection counts. If time is tight or Tantra feels overwhelming, a simple tantric massage can create the same deep, intimate energy.
• Reframe the goal: Tantra isn’t about a single moment, but about showing up playfully, presently, and deeply connected with your partner.

Slow, Sweet, and Totally Worth It

At the end of the day, Tantric sex is really just an invitation to slow down, breathe, and reconnect with the person you adore (and maybe discover a few yummy new sparks along the way). Whether you try one tiny practice or turn it into a full-on date night ritual, the real magic is in being present – bodies relaxed, hearts open, chemistry fully activated.

And if you want to lean further into that soft, sensual tantric energy? 

Our Mentionables Valentine’s lingerie collection is basically made for it – think romantic lace, playful details, and pieces that help you feel confident, cozy, and completely irresistible.

Don’t be shy… spoil yourself (or pass along the hint).

To wrap it up, we’d love to know: What helps you slow down and really enjoy intimacy –  whether it’s Tantric sex or something else? Share your thoughts below!