Ever feel like you’re speaking a different language in the bedroom? You’re all about slow, teasing kisses, but your partner is ready to skip straight to the grand finale. Or maybe you crave a little mystery and anticipation, while they prefer clear, direct signals. 

Don’t worry – you’re not broken, mismatched, or doomed to a lifetime of awkward attempts at initiation; you just have different erotic blueprints. If you’ve ever watched the Netflix show, “Sex, Love, and Goop” or explored the work of somatic sexologist Jaiya, you may already be familiar with this concept. Think of erotic blueprints like love languages, but instead of cute texts and surprise flowers, they decode what truly turns you on. 

Curious to find out your erotic blueprint type? (hint..there are five) Whether you’re a sensual, sexual, energetic, kinky, or shapeshifter–buckle up, because we’re about to help you unlock the pleasure map to your wildest desires.

The Sensual: The Lover of All Things Luxurious

Do you get excited by the scent of fresh-cut flowers, the silky smoothness of satin against your skin, or the decadent taste of chocolate cheesecake? Do bright, vibrant colors, stunning surroundings, or the soothing sounds of the ocean leave you feeling alive?

If so, you might have a sensual erotic blueprint. 

The sensual erotic blueprint type focuses on sparking arousal through the five senses. The key is creating an immersive atmosphere with attention to details like lighting, scents, and music to stir desire and connection.

Here are a few ideas to help set the perfect scene for a sensual lover:

• Create the mood with fluffy pillows, essential oils, silk sheets, and candles.
• Use slow, teasing touches; check out this article for an excellent how-to-guide.
• Play nature sounds or a sexy music playlist (check out our Mentionables playlist).
• Add flavored lube or treats like whipped cream, chocolate syrup, or edible pasties.
• Maintain eye contact, whisper sweet words, and share slow, deep kisses.

PROTIP: Each erotic blueprint has a "shadow side" that can block sexual energy (as discussed in Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are). For the sensual type, overthinking and distractions like an out-of-place pillow, unpleasant smells, or body insecurities can throw off the vibe. The key is recognizing when this happens and communicating with your partner to reset and refocus.

The Sexual: Straight to the Good Stuff

Do you find yourself easily aroused by seeing, hearing, reading, or even just thinking about sexual things? Do you tend to get turned on quickly? Is reaching climax a top priority in your intimate experiences? And are your primary pleasure zones the classic erogenous areas?

If you answered yes to any of these, you might resonate most with the sexual erotic blueprint.

The sexual erotic blueprint type thrives on getting right to the action – diving into what we traditionally think of as “sex,” with direct stimulation of prime erogenous zones, penetration, and orgasm as the main event. Foreplay is often seen as a means to an end rather than a necessity, as this type finds arousal comes quickly and effortlessly.

Here are a few tips to create an unforgettable encounter for the sexual lover: 

• Be direct with initiation, like a simple “I want you. Now.”
• Add lingerie (hey, we've got you covered!), or enjoy skin-to-skin contact.
• Use toys to extend pleasure before penetration (check out our top picks).
• Experiment with positions or techniques to enhance pleasure and climax.
• Send flirty texts or voice notes to help build the tension between you.

PROTIP: The shadow side of the sexual erotic blueprint can be an over-focus on orgasm and direct stimulation, sometimes skipping foreplay. This narrow view of sex can create challenges if your partner has a different blueprint. The trick is balancing the "let’s go" energy with playful teasing to meet both partners' needs.

The Energetic: The Master of Slow Burn

Do you thrive on the build-up and anticipation of special moments? Does a slow-burn romance in movies, TV shows, or books spark your passion? Is it the locking eyes from across the room, the lingering glances, or knowing smirks from your partner that make your heart race?

If that sounds like you, then yep – you might just have an energetic erotic blueprint.

The energetic erotic blueprint craves space, teasing, and anticipation of what’s ahead. It’s all about the push-pull dynamic, deciphering the unspoken messages behind every touch, glance, breath, and conversation, with a touch of "wanting what you can’t quite have."

Here’s what you need to know to make an energetic lover’s wildest dreams come true:

• Use eye contact, subtle touches, and build tension without rushing.
• Start with light, lingering touches to avoid overwhelming your partner.
• Sync your breathing by taking slow, deep breaths together.
• Leave space between words, touches, or kisses to heighten anticipation.
• Prioritize emotional connection with meaningful conversations before intimacy.

PROTIP: The shadow side of the energetic erotic blueprint often involves shutting down when anxious or overwhelmed. Overstimulation and rushing can be a turn-off. To avoid this, take your time, start slow, and gradually build physical touch as the energy grows.

The Kinky: Rules? What Rules?

Are you intrigued by the “taboo?” Does the thought of being a bit “naughty” thrill you? Do you enjoy taking control or surrendering to someone else? Are you drawn to challenging yourself and testing your limits? If any of these questions ring true for you, that may signal that you’re a kinky erotic blueprint type. 

The kinky erotic blueprint seeks creativity and fantasy, finding excitement in the "taboo." This can manifest as psychological play, like power dynamics, or sensory experiences, such as the feel of restraints against the skin – pushing boundaries beyond the ordinary. 

Quick note: Before trying something new, ensure mutual consent and keep pleasure playful, not pressured. Set safe words to communicate when it's time to pause or stop.

With that said, here are some captivating ideas for creating the ultimate fantasy-filled night for a kinky lover:

• Use seductive costumes and roleplay, focusing on dominant and submissive characters (check our blog for examples and prompts).
• Experiment with light bondage using silk ties or soft scarves.
• Add sensory elements like feathers, a blindfold, or temperature play with wax or ice.
• Enhance arousal with steamy talk and vivid details of your desires.

PROTIP: For the kinky erotic blueprint, the shadow side can show up as shame. Intense self-judgment or judgment from others about your unconventional desires can lead to hiding or feeling bad about them. To overcome this, it's essential to have open communication with your partner in a safe, judgment-free space filled with love and trust.

The Shapeshifter: All of the Above, Please!

Now, if all of these previous erotic blueprint types strike a chord with you, you might just be the rainbow unicorn of them all: a shapeshifter.

The shapeshifter erotic blueprint type enjoys a little bit of everything and loves to keep the sexual relationship exciting and fresh. A shapeshifter’s versatility makes them the perfect partner for any erotic blueprint type, as they can connect with various sources of arousal – earning them the title of “the ultimate pleasure chameleon.”

Here are some ideas for treating a shapeshifter to a night filled with endless pleasure and delightful surprises:

• Stay flexible and communicate openly to adapt to a shapeshifter’s changing desires.
• Keep various tools (like toys, silk ties, candles, and a sexy playlist) on hand for spontaneous fun.
• Mix different blueprint types by starting with sensual touches and gradually moving to steamy talk or dominant roleplay.

PROTIP: Shapeshifters embrace the arousal elements of all erotic blueprint types, but they also experience all their shadow sides, which can feel overwhelming. This may lead to feeling “too much,” inhibiting pleasure and climax, or compromising your own desires to meet your partner’s preferences. As with other types, open, non-judgmental communication, addressing concerns, and refocusing on mutual desire can help overcome these challenges.

Putting It Into Practice: Exploring Your Erotic Blueprint in Real Life

Now that you have an idea of what your erotic blueprint might be, how do you actually use it? Let’s help you move from theory to practice – because knowledge is power, but action is where the real fun begins. 

Here are some tips for introducing and exploring erotic blueprint types with your partner:

• Communicate desires in fun, flirty ways: Drop hints, share fantasies, or take an erotic blueprint quiz together and compare results. If direct talk feels intimidating, start with playful comments like, “I read something interesting today about turn-on types—guess mine?” or “I found something that explains why I love it when you do [favorite move].”
• Focus on curiosity: Ask your partner what turns them on or what they’ve always wanted to try.
• Try “show and tell”: Demonstrate how you like to be touched. Let your body language speak by setting the scene, experimenting with sensory play, or introducing a little teasing.

Embrace Your Erotic Blueprint: Time to Turn On the Fun

Now that you’ve cracked the code on your erotic blueprint, it’s time to put that knowledge to good use. Whether you’re a slow-burning sensual, a direct-to-the-point sexual, an anticipation-loving energetic, a boundary-pushing kinky, or a “give me everything” shapeshifter, understanding your pleasure language is the key to unlocking deeper intimacy and hotter connection. 

So, why not explore new ways to indulge your desires? Check out Mentionables for elegant, classy lingerie and pleasure accessories designed to match every blueprint. Because no matter your type, pleasure is unapologetically yours.

If you could design your dream pleasure experience based on your erotic blueprint, what would it look like? Let’s get creative in the comments!