Ready for a truth bomb? Between endless work emails, overflowing laundry, kids running wild all summer, and that suspicious noise coming from the fridge, spontaneous sex can feel about as likely as winning the lottery while wearing sweatpants. 

But here’s a secret: scheduled sex isn’t a last resort – it’s a power move. It’s intentional, exciting, and honestly? Pretty darn sexy! When you pencil in pleasure, you're not just making time – you’re making magic happen. 

So go ahead, grab your calendar (and maybe a candle or two), and let’s talk about how scheduling sex might just be your new favorite thing.

Scheduling Sex: Why It Isn’t Lame – It’s Actually Super Hot

Life gets busy, and intimacy can easily fall off the radar (totally normal by the way) – but scheduling sex isn’t something to feel guilty or ashamed about. It’s actually a really smart, loving way to refocus on each other, and it’s far from clinical or boring. Think of it less like penciling in a chore and more like setting a date for something you truly want to look forward to. 

Still not convinced? Wondering: does scheduling sex work?

Here’s why making time for intimacy matters – and how the benefits of scheduling sex can seriously heat things up:

• Approach it like planning a vacation or a hot date: Anticipation builds excitement and turns any night into something special. Knowing what’s coming can turn a regular Tuesday into something seriously exciting.
• Marriage and sex therapists are all for it: For good reason! Scheduling sex adds a playful spark that can turn you from “just roommates” into “we can’t keep our hands off each other.” 
• It’s not about obligation, it’s about intention: You’re saying, “This matters. We matter.” And that kind of focus naturally boosts emotional and physical intimacy. Less “we should” and more “can’t wait”.
• Sparks honest chats about what you want– and don’t want: It helps couples communicate better, ditch misunderstandings, and build trust, turning pressure into pure connection. Sharing what feels good has never been easier – or sexier.
• Helps eliminate distractions by planning ahead: You get to fully focus on each other without interruptions or last-minute stress – well, most of the time, because hey, life loves to surprise us.

MENTIONABLES PROTIP: And when you know the date, you can plan the outfit. Slip into a silky matching top and bottom set or a lacy bralette and panty from Mentionables and turn 'scheduled' into 'seriously irresistible.' After all, half the fun is the reveal.

Scheduling Sex: It’s a Mental Shift: From “Should We?” to “When Will We?”

Busy schedules and everyday overwhelm can make it hard for desire to keep up. That’s totally normal! Whether it’s stress, exhaustion, or simply being in different headspaces, desire often doesn’t just magically appear. The beauty of scheduling sex is that it normalizes those ups and downs, while giving you space to reconnect – without pressure or guilt.

Here’s what happens when you change the way you think about scheduling sex:

• Takes the shame out of low desire: Life gets busy, and your libido isn't broken just because it takes a backseat sometimes. Having a plan takes the pressure off and removes the awkward guessing game of “when” or “should we?” You’re both in the loop, on the same page, and no one’s stuck wondering who’s supposed to make the first move. Hallelujah for that!
• Keeps connection a priority: Scheduling intimacy gives you permission to show up however you’re feeling – full steam ahead or something sweet and PG. Not in the mood for more? Try using our Let’s Reconnect cards – they’re perfect for staying flirty and emotionally close, without going all the way. 
• Reduces resentment: No more mismatched expectations or waiting for “the right moment” that never comes. When both partners know what to expect, it creates a sense of teamwork and shared intention – no more feeling rejected, overlooked, or out of sync.

MENTIONABLES PROTIP: When you schedule sex, you're not just planning a night – you're creating space to feel desired again. Add a touch of lacey lingerie (like this gorgeous babydoll), and it's not just another to-do... it's a turn-on.

Scheduling Sex: How to Make It Work (and Not Feel Like a Dentist Appointment)

Scheduling sex isn’t about turning your love life into a routine or another task – it’s about carving out space for genuine connection. This dedicated time can lead to something steamy, sure, but it can also be all about cuddling, chatting, or sharing those little moments that bring you closer. It’s your special moment to press pause on life’s craziness and focus completely on one another – free from expectations, just time together.

With a few fun tweaks, scheduled time can feel spontaneous, meaningful, and completely yours. 

Here’s how:

• Keep it flexible – but protected: Treat it like quality time that matters. Do your best not to let anything interfere, but remember – life happens, and that’s okay. 
• Use a playful code name: Add some mystery (and maybe a giggle) to your calendar with nicknames like “Taco Tuesday” or “Dessert Night.”
• Mix things up: Change the time, switch the location, or throw in a theme to keep things feeling fresh and exciting, especially now that you have time to plan things out.
• Keep room for spontaneity: Scheduling sex doesn’t mean that’s the only time intimacy can happen. It just ensures you’ve got at least one guaranteed moment to connect each week – everything else is a bonus!

MENTIONABLES PROTIP: Mark the date and the outfit – use lingerie to signal 'tonight’s the night. Keep a few go-to pieces from Mentionables in rotation so you’re always ready to bring the heat.

Scheduling Sex: The Foreplay Starts When You Open Your Calendar

One of the best parts of scheduling sex? The anticipation. When you know it’s coming, you’ve got time to fantasize, turn up the tease, and make the moment even hotter. Think flirty buildup, cheeky surprises, and that delicious sense of “it’s almost time” for the whole day. That kind of shared effort can be incredibly sexy and arousing for you both.  

Here’s how to make that countdown count:

• Start the tease early: Build anticipation with flirty texts, cheeky invites, and playful countdowns throughout the day. Send a sneak peek of what you’ll be wearing, drop a suggestive calendar alert, or challenge each other with mini dares and spicy compliments. Need a little inspo? Our favorite flirty lines are right here – and our pals at The Dating Divas have tons of free, sexy invites to get you started. You might also love our collaborative post on summer sex bucket list ideas – perfect for getting you both in the mood for lovin’. 
• Prep the vibe: Think classy lingerie, a sexy music playlist, or a playful little surprise just for them – like our deliciously flavored pasties for a sweet (and tempting) treat.
• Lean into the buildup: Anticipation is most of the thrill, and scheduling sex gives it room to grow. Need fresh ideas to keep the tease alive? Our blog post, “Get Your Mojo Back” is full of playful ways to build the tension and make the wait even sweeter.
• Plan something extra special: From bubble baths and massages to sexy games and rose petals with bubbly drinks, you’ve actually got time to set the mood and enjoy it.

MENTIONABLES PROTIP: Send a flirty text with a preview of what you’ll be wearing – something sheer, strappy, or backless. Planning ahead means you can set the mood with lights, music, and slip into something that feels just right. Mentionables has a perfect piece for every vibe: sweet (our dreamy Wisteria line), spicy (hello, crotchless lingerie), or somewhere in between (you’ll swoon over our Southern Soiree summer collection). 

Scheduling Sex: What If One of You Isn’t in the Mood?

Even with the best intentions (and the sexiest plans), there may be times when one of you just isn’t feeling it – and that’s totally okay. Energy dips, moods shift, hormones fluctuate, and life – whether it’s kids, work, or relationship stress – has a way of throwing curveballs. Even the steamiest occasions sometimes need a rain check. 

The beauty of scheduling sex is that it opens the door to better communication, not pressure. 

When those moments happen, it’s all about how you respond, reconnect, and stay close in other ways. Here’s some advice on how to handle those “not tonight” instances with grace, love, and maybe a little backup plan:

• Lead with communication, not obligation: Just because it’s on the calendar doesn’t mean it’s set in stone. Check in with each other honestly and kindly.
• Reschedule with love, not guilt: A simple “Can we shift our night to tomorrow?” can feel like care (not rejection) when it comes with warmth and intention.
• Find other ways to connect: If sex is off the table, go for cuddling, a massage, a shared bubble bath, or even a flirty heart-to-heart – connection comes in many forms.

MENTIONABLES PROTIP: Even if things don’t go as planned, slipping into beautiful lingerie can still set the tone for connection – whether it's cuddling, kissing, talking, or just feeling confident in your own skin.

The Sexiest Thing on Your Calendar This Week

So there you have it – scheduling sex isn’t the end of romance; it’s the beginning of anticipation, connection, and plenty of spicy fun. With a little creativity and intention, planning your pleasure might just become your new favorite foreplay. Think of it as your relationship’s secret weapon (and your calendar’s sexiest update). 

Want to make your scheduled sex sessions feel extra special? Slip into something irresistible from Mentionables – whether it’s our tempting Summer Soiree styles or our gracefully stunning new Wisteria collection – because planned passion deserves classy lingerie that feels effortlessly sexy.

Now spill the tea: Have you ever tried scheduling sex – or would you? Why or why not? Drop your thoughts in the comments – we're all about real talk and even realer fun.